Sunday, October 9, 2011

Blumail is Bad. The wrong Steve is dead.

Ever heard of Blumail? Me neither, until today.

As you know, I got scammed a few years ago, phished actually, so "my bad." As a result I am now, blessedly, way more bitter and suspicious than is my nature. Take that, nature-bitch.

Today I received an email from, let's use his fake name, Steve, who wrote:
"Hi Lori K
Hi, I found you on the House Sitters America website...

Indeed, I did register at House Sitters America, because in line with my 88 Day Stay idea it occurred to me that it might be possible to pay $0 in rent if my stays were for the benefit of a people, bitter and suspicious by nature, who fear leaving their home unoccupied whilst on holiday. (Many are Brits). They are actually being quite sensible. There are scoundrels walking amongst us. Scalawags, too, I'll wager.

It occurred to me Scammer Steve could, possibly, maybe, in a pig's eye, be legit. I mean, I have found men in general to be wordthrifts which would explain the lack of an actual message. Still, he failed to mention anything about his motive for writing...housesitting needs, perhaps?...and men are not so much "mysterious" as "slaves to their own motives" are they not? That sent up a pink flag. I would have gone for the red flag had he used multiple exclamation points, misspelled a word or three, demonstrated a lack of care for the rules of grammar, written with stupid nu-age spelling or ~shudder~ in all lower case. No, our Steve is a careful man, a thoughtful man, oh wait...he's a scammer! I know this because I did a search on his email address.

As I typed in THE FIRST TWO LETTERS of his name I got a megalomillion hits for (~iSad~) Steve Jobs. But as I continued typing I had a revelation: why type when you can copy and paste! Brilliant! And here's what came up:
"...blah, blah, blah...SCAM...blah, blah, blah..SCAMMERS...blah, blah, blah...WARNING...100% SCAM, etc."

Pink flag goes red. I junked his emails--I got two emails for some reason. Maybe Steve's Scam-o-Matic has gone wonky. (For my German friends, that means "on the fritz.")

I'm happy to report that, in the end, the worst thing that happened to me is I kinda strained my arm patting myself on the back, and I might have got a few drops of cold sweat on my keyboard. But hey, bullet, consider yourself dodged.

I realize 8 people read my blog. But I want all 8 of you to take away a valuable lesson from this: Steve Jobs' passing hurt my heart, and Blumail's demise will patch it up.